Rest Easy

Whenever Cristina and I are on our flights back to San Diego, one of our favorite activities is looking through the infamous SkyMall magazine. For those of you unfamiliar with this publication, it is a catalog that consists of overpriced and useless items that you have thoughts of really wanting, but never actually buy. We're talking everything from time-sensitive cat feeders to lawn gnomes and one piece footed pajamas [for adults] . I'm almost positive SkyMall featured the Snuggie before making its big debut in the infomercial world. 

Anyways, I came across one of my all-time favorites the other week, which is definitely blog-worthy... I'd like to introduce to you the SkyRest.

Ok so, first I'd like to applaud the SkyRest makers for excellent ad placement. Talk about relevant receptivity! But really, has anyone ever seen someone with this on a plane? I can only imagine the kind of person who would purchase this. 

After going through the hassles of long security lines and an unfriendly welcome by bitter stewardesses, you sit down next to the nice looking man wearing a cheesy hawaiian button-up. As he begins the necessary airplane small talk, ("Why are you headed to Philly?") he pulls out a folded up SkyRest...and as you reply, "Well, I'm actually interviewing for a job at..." he begins blowing up his inflatable wedge-shaped pillow, immediately destroying any chance of normal conversation . 

I imagine that it is similar to blowing up a pool raft, which makes most people red in the face and out of breath. Whoever actually indulges in the SkyRest, first off, has no concern for personal space, and secondly, has really high confidence and needs a serious reality check. Yikes. 

Here comes the bride... unfortunately

Just wanted to provide some quick, visual evidence to how horrific bachelorette parties are (see loathe list item #36). Coincidentally, this was the second one I saw that night though I was uncomfortable taking a picture with the bride-to-be holding a large, blow-up, naked man doll. Honestly, who wants to spend their last official outing as a single woman wearing a pink wig?

Strange Things Revisited

If any of you have been following my "Strange Things" album on Facebook (which you should), then you have probably seen this picture already. I was debating reposting it here, but realized that it epitomizes the exact obscurity that Lauren and I seek for our blog. Let me preface this photo by saying it is 100% real. This picture was in all seriousness taken in 1994 as my first grade, end of the year tap-dance class picture. I believe we were in the midst of intense preparation for our recital performance to "Rockin' Robin," which was of course, one of the most highly anticipated days of the year for most of us. Anyways, if you hadn't guessed already, I'm in the top row to the left of the girl with the blue scrunchi. No one else is too important to note in the picture other than the 6 ft. tall black chick to my left. It's strange to me because to be honest, I can't remember ever thinking it was unusual that a girl twice my age was in the beginning tap dancing class among 8 other 6-year-olds. Furthermore, what was her mother thinking when she opted to force her noticeably over-aged daughter to be sized for a blue polka-dotted costume and bow-tied tap shoes?

Bless you... or... not?

I was put in a situation the other day which although I have experienced a number of times, still found myself wondering how to react. It's such a simple, everyday habit: Sneezing. Im sure you've probably been in the same boat a time or two. Someone near you sneezes. Naturally, you offer up some sort of response (hopefully not "Gazoontite" because that word is teetering on making my loathe list.) Now in some cases, if your lucky, thats the end of the story. My question is this: What are you supposed to do if that person continues to sneeze? It's only minimally awkward if you have to repeat yourself once, but you know there's been instances where the frenzy continues on for several more. Not only do you feel uncomfortable for making the decision to continue on for four "bless you's," but the other person is also frantically trying to stop in embarrassment for forcing you to do so. Surely mankind has experienced this enough to have come up with some relatively uncomplicated answer. Do you respond once? Do you stop after 3? Do you nervously laugh after realizing you have indeed gone too far? Or do you just ignore the germ-spreading convulsive expulsion altogether? Life sure is complicated... 

The Middle Finger

The other day I was "channel surfing" and stumbled across a trashy TV talk show... In hindsight, I have NO idea which one it was, but an important discovery was made while watching. 

I was in the midst of getting ready when I heard the start of an outrageous TV verbal fight, which as we all know consists of half shouted words, unnecessary anger, and obnoxious beeps. When I peered at the screen, an overweight red-faced man was giving the ol 'one finger salute'  to the audience.. It was in that moment when I began wondering, why does TV deem it necessary to blur out the middle finger? I mean, thank god that they do...that hovering blur over the entire hand definitely excuses the 'f**k off' connotation it was supposed to give off.  

At least with the beeping out of bad words, its all so loud and convoluted that we have no f**king idea what they're trying to say.

Which brings me to my next point....those BAD words I just 'starred' out...why? Why is it necessary that we use mini stars? Is it more polite?  Now I'm not going to go DESTROYING Cristina and I's reputation in the blogosphere by dropping the F bomb, but it really is confusing. Almost as questionable as people who put stuffed animals in their back car windows...

Oh, you know them well... the poor Beanie Babies and Teddy's faded from years of sitting in the sun. Its like a small museum exhibit for people walking by...Pretty considerate gesture if you ask me.  I think I will die and go to heaven the day I see backseat Beanies still preserved in crystal display cases...those were the absolute best! People were so eager to show off their obsession with TY... Bear after bear sitting on the top shelf in personal plastic cases. Amazing. I'm still waiting for Beanie Babies to be worth the millions that the TY corporation ever-so-kindly forecasted to our parents......Personally, Twig the Giraffe was my fave.

I'm about to go too far....signing out!